I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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