It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
