Having a random hookup so left but love u
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize