p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
