Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
