Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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