so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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