I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Sorry about my life...
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
