Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
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