Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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