he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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