What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
