No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
