Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
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