I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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