That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Randomize
