I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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