i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Randomize
