Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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