i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I can't put those talents on a resume
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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