Got a toothbrush?
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
