Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
