idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
