If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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