he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
