that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
