i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
