WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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