dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
im holly from the hills drunk
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
