Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Me. At least after what I've been through.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
