i need an iv and a liver transplant
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Randomize
