i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
