I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Randomize
