i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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