My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Randomize
