wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I need to stop coming to work sober
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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