Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
My liver just had a heart attack.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize