are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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