People with herpes should wear stickers.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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