New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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