the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
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