You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
