He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
