I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
