Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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