Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
