My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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