I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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