I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
