I am in a vortex of obligation.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize