Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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