idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
