you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Randomize
