Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
