Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
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