I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
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