Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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