Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Randomize
