The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
