So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
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