she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I wish there were birth control emojis
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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